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Updated: Apr 29

I wanted to discuss an inspirational topic this month, and that is controlling your destiny. Believe it or not, you have a say in what happens to you and your destiny. Please read this article and apply these steps to your everyday life, so you can reap the benefits.

Luck, fate, karma, or destiny – whatever it is called, the idea that life’s powers are beyond our control is a lifelong legend. It appears in Greek mythology, ancient Chinese stories, and in almost every worldwide culture. What if you could control your destiny?

Believing that you control your destiny means recognizing your internal locus of control. You take responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and outcomes. This thinking means you can become unstoppable. You learn how to control your destiny.


You must first accept who you are and where you are currently to control your destiny. If you fool yourself into thinking that you are further along with your goals than you are, you will leave yourself with nothing to accomplish. Simultaneously, do not convince yourself that your life is worse than it

is. Step back and reflect on your situation from a new perspective. Develop your self-awareness and accept reality. You cannot make a plan to control your destiny if you do not know your starting point.


Accepting reality does not mean sitting back and forgetting how to control our destiny. It means we take ownership of what we can change and forget about things we cannot. You cannot control what others do or think. The only thing you can manage and change is your mindset. You must question the stories we tell ourselves and transform them into one that empowers us. The negative things we tell ourselves about how we are in the world only hold us back from fully controlling our destiny.


Your past is not your future unless you live there. To control your destiny, you must forgive those who have hurt you and let go of your past. Realize that "Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning you give to it." Will you give your past meaning-filled with hurt and pain, or will you realize that it made you who you are today? If you provide it with a positive meaning, your past can be a source of inner strength and deep belief in yourself.


Nothing affects the quality of your life more than your relationships. They are a window into your values, thoughts, and beliefs. They are the source of life's ultimate pleasure and pain. They can either push you toward your goals or keep you stationary. Sometimes you must cut ties with unhealthy, toxic relationships that no longer serve you. This is one of the most complex parts of learning to control your destiny, but you cannot fly when you are weighed down.


Your relationships provide clues about your driving force – the ultimate reason you do what you do. We are all driven by Six Human Needs: certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth, and contribution. We need all these things at a certain level, but each has one top need that drives us more than others. Looking at your life in this context allows you to control your destiny by positively recognizing and fulfilling your needs.


Fear is a natural survival instinct, but it does not always serve us like our relationships. If you live in fear, you can never truly learn how to control it. To achieve your best self and realize your unlimited growth potential, you must learn to use fear to your advantage instead of letting fear control you. Be vulnerable with your partner. Take steps to start that business of your dreams. Whatever you are afraid of, do it – now.


You have created new, positive beliefs; feel confident and empowered. Design your dream life now. Think big: you can do, have, and be anything you want. What is your true purpose in life? What energizes you? Envision relationships and stories that serve you and discover how to fulfill your needs. A wonderful life filled with passion. A life you can achieve only when you control your destiny.


"Whatever you consistently focus upon and think about, you will move towards." Once you have designed your life, you must put all your energy toward achieving your goals to achieve that life. Stop relying on others to feel a certain way or waiting for them to catch up. Use empowering routines like priming, visualization, chants, and exercise to focus your intentions on how to control your destiny. Create goals and hold yourself accountable. Now that you have the tools you need – the rest is up to you. Do It!

Image provided by Adobe Stock (April 2023).

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